ONCE A BULLY ALWAYS A BULLY

(Picture compliments of Google Images, 2017.)

Have you ever lost your temper?  Sure at some point in life everyone does.  How it is expressed is different. Yet getting mad happens.  I have been bullied on and off for years by various individuals.  When I was living in Los Angeles and attending Los Angeles Public Schools, I was bullied everyday by a girl that was 5 times my size and had fists to match.  I fortunately survived and again ran into this girl in high school.  She did not even recognize me.  I was very happy to act  like she did not exist.
However, that was a long time ago.  I won't say that I haven't met others that have taken pleasure in bullying me.  I met a man in Jr. College  who took great pleasure in rejecting me publicly in the halls on the way to a class.  I later saw him as a police officer and had to laugh as he had no hair and a middle aged paunch.  Life has its own revenge.  I have begun to think that occupation attracts those kinds of people, and am a staunch supporter of periodic psychological reviews to weed this type of individual out of  our nations police forces.  Especially now with all the killing going on.  I have watched "YouTube" Videos of live police chases where the police, on camera, shoot individuals with and without guns.  Don't you think that there should be an alternative? I have a shock stick that delivers millions of volts to anyone and anything at the other end of it.  However, My grandfather remembers a day when the police were trained to manage crisis scenes differently.  Thinking about that takes some time yet, understanding the dynamics of our very violent society where our children cut their teeth on violent video games, what do we expect? Young men and women sit around and play these games for hours having binging sessions that sometimes last for days where the men pee in a bottle rather than take a break and go to the bathroom.  Killers abound that we do not even hear their names anymore as they are caught convicted and sent away to join others like themselves in our overcrowded prisons. Many of are for-profit prisons.  How does that work?  Is it like the ambulance chasers? Where insurance agents have police scanners and rush to a fire or accident to sell the victims insurance?  "Oh, Here comes the owner of Eastgate Prison," as he/she stands outside the courthouse handing out brochures for the facility.

I did not come here to speak to Crime and punishment as I said, I believe that somewhere down the line these kinds of people get what they have coming to them."   I watched "Fargo" for 2 seasons.  Of course everyone loved the original iconic movie where the saying, "ya,sure you-betta", put Minnesota on the map.  I got  a certain satisfaction when in part 1 in the series the bully got his come uppings.

I have had a sense of calm since I had a burst of temper recently when I chewed out a older woman  at a weight loss organization I used to belong to, as she had come unglued at me and a new person I was trying to speak to.What I was doing was not her business. However, being her nasty, controlling self, she had to  tell me that what and how I was dong it was wrong.  Don't you hate those kinds of people? I will probably never forget her face as her turkey waddle  under her chin shook in anger poring out her poison on me and the person I was speaking to. I later gave this person a ride home profusely apologizing, she could not stop saying,:"did you see her face so evil! "How can I forget?  My reaction I am not sorry for, I blurted out, "you nasty Bitch!" She waved her hand at me and got up and left and her little minions went out behind her.  👹   Doing that felt so good I only wished others who have been bullied by her had the chance to feel that way.

I had a chance to apologize  but I have not and will not.  The woman has been bullying me and others for years. I only wish I  had not been the person to give her her come uppings.   I am sure that she will get what she has coming to her elsewhere too.  Then I examined her life, she is a lonely , crusty old lady.  She speaks her mind way too often and hurts people and drives them out of not only her life but the room at the time, I have seen people never come back and I have recently joined that group. No one likes her, but do you notice with those kinds of people, they think they are liked and will announce to everyone  that so and so likes me, I know so and so and they say this...   That's how I know as a Behavioral Health Professional that something is lacking in that persons life, how they tell you how smart their kids are, how they know so and so and how important they are, bla, bla, bla, then after they exude their comments  they turn and say the same things to another. You might  as well have been a wall.  This in my field is called dysfunctional.  So don't take it personally?


   The straw that broke the proverbial camels back was when an old friend of many years went on and on about Mormonism, "how her pastor said, that Mormons, they aren't Christians and bla, bla, bla," same old junk that X-Mormons say.  In all honesty, I have never been treated by Non-Mormon Christians as well as I have been treated  by the people of the LDS church. They are the true Christians practicing their faith in a dynamic and effective way.  I know this first hand. Having had a terrible experience in the main stream Christian Church, I  watched a Minster fall in adultery and another uprising where the congregation chased their pastor out for his honesty. I watched each member handle the microphone saying whatever they chose to this mans face. It was heart breaking. Driven to tears, I had not attended another church until the Mormons came to my door .  They showed me and my family loving generosity in an judge-mental way that made me yearn to be back in the  Christian Church. I could just say,"Goodbye Felisha," to that person yet,
how does that change me, make me a better person? How does that help her grow as an individual if everyone in her life lets her drive them away exempting her relatives?     After much thought I decided that it wasn't about me. True I don't need people in my life that make me feel bad about myself or ignore me as I have to sit and listen to their shallow, silly arguments.  Yet, why do I have to make hard fast decisions? As a Mental Health professional haven't I been trained to believe that people like these will change?  That they just need to be aware they are behaving in this way and given tools to overcome their alienating behaviors? Further, these persons are not paying clients and this is my life.  Maybe, I will not do anything, take my Mormon friends examples as an example.  WWJD?

On the other hand, I doubt as in "Fargo" someone will come along and dispatch the Bullies in our lives, however, I am sure that if those Bullies don't come to an understanding at some point, do self reflection, and stop blaming others for their terrible behavior, I am sure that life will dish them up what they deserve.   Maybe that is why the Bible tells us to pray for our enemies. Matthew 5:44

TEXAS KILLS PUPPIES!

Puppy needs a home now!!! Let's help get her outtathere!

This sweet girl is slotted to be put to sleep in a Texas Kill Shelter. take some time to repost the link or picture please. 🙏. https://instagram.com/p/BWgfQS5FfME/

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Smoking Kills (The Bryan Curtis story)

YES A GARDENER

Google Images, 2017

So here's the thing, despite all the political conversations(which are merely insights I have had ), I find peace and contentment in gardening.  However, this is not an ordinary garden. and this is not really my actual garden. I have a Coastal Garden.
After years of failure I decided that I was doing something wrong.  I had tried everything.  Community gardening, detailed literature about varieties and the best heirloom seeds, and composting. I did climate studies, bought plants, germinated seeds, fertilized and fertilized.

Then I moved to Florida and began to really garden.  Good lord everything I put in the ground grew. After less than 6 months I had an avocado forest! I designed and grew from seed planter pots full of dollar store flower seeds! The plants I brought with me took off becoming something other than a house plant.  I nurtured Mimosa babies I found all over the lawn and they also grew  into huge trees! My neighbors who spent most of their days in the air conditioning smoking pot gave me seeds, which I sprouted and gave back, as nice little seedlings to do with what they pleased.( as Marijuana is still illegal in the sunshine state. )

Oh the joy I felt every time I looked out the back door at my Bismark,Christmas ,and Pineapple Palm trees, Avocados and my Mimosa . Mango and Papaya trees, I even grew Cacti, cutting off an arm of a friends and just putting it into the soil!
 The air was filled with the smell of a Plumeria I brought back from dehydration and  my "white "Bird of Paradise grew 5 feet in one year!It wasn't just I that was amazed with  my green thumb skills as the neighbors began to stop and admire my yard.   My cup runneth over  as I made rhubarb, strawberry jam,  fresh salads and drank my coffee looking at my greenhouse spilling over onto the patio  floor.

However, I will admit some things did not grow and despite my efforts it was just too hot for some of my endeavors. The watermelon could not take the hot midday sun that towered overhead for at least 4 hours.Reaching temps in the 90s.   I had to admit my failure , drag them into the shade more than once as they just would not thrive.
I planted Boxwood's along the property line, Gardenias on the North and had a Tomato trellis on the South side of the house.  I surprised myself at my success and soaked in all the praises.

On one occasion the park manager snuck up on me,(it was a over 50 gated community) and she accused me of sending the parks water bill soaring due to my watering. I showed her my timed soaker hoses and she told me,"I'll be watching you."💪  Later I  learned the pot smokers  had turned me in for what they called excessive watering. I had to write that off as my druggie neighbors tripping.  Later I  reminded them that Marijuana was still illegal in Florida.

Then I relocated due to a transfer to the Pacific Coast again, where the nights are cold and the days are often foggy and gray. Rain in the winter until it seems that we would have to really use our boat to  get outta  here. I thank God for being a Mental Health professional to  cope with my on again, off again mood swings in the dark winters.  I stay grounded throughout and  look forward to the sunny days of summer.
Then it dawned on me when I saw the local college flyer of courses offerings, "Coastal Gardening." that I had so much failure because I'd  been doing it all wrong."
I took the course and basically didn't learn anything new as she covered planting techniques and square foot gardening  answering the novices questions.However, , I did get a list of plants and seeds that would thrive in this micro-climate.

"THE LIST" is worth the price of the class and I have used it and given it away to others who garden in this climate.  So far so good as in the above pictured garden, except the tomatoes are still small.
THE SECRET #1 keep the pests out, #2 plant climate appropriate seeds, Nothing that wont grow to maturity in 90 days, #3 Start in the house things that need more time.  #4 Positioning for maximum sunshine, #5 don't forget hardening off ,dead heading , and fertilizing and last but not least realize that the natural plants for the area are going  to thrive if you let them, nurture what won't kill everything  and thrives.
Yesterday I was out with my new hoe I received for my birthday.  my mother came to the window and sang to me," "Paisley, Paisley , quite contrary how does you garden grow?" I answered her with Oyster shells and slug bait , and all  the plants in a square footed row" we laughed,  the fountain gurgled, I cut some wild flowers for a vase, filled the bird feeders and sat down with my coffee as the smell of lilacs filled the air.

The Bullies

Google Images, 2017

First we had the woes attributed to the us as having a spineless government.  Now  consequently the rush to put an end to that introduced the opposite.
     Have you also begun to lose interest in Politics?  Lately, when the President of the United States comes on with his over the top comments about the personal attacks he feels he has to deal with from the media or even wayward comments that  Congressmen have made you head for the remote and the off button?  I myself have grown weary of it all.  How must our president feel? Do we care?  I'd like it all to just end, the tweets, the coverage of the tweets the inward examination of how the son-in- law shaves and if his beautiful wife went under the knife, or the First Ladies wardrobe and makeup.  I myself am a tolerant and forgiving type of person  but  it seems to be something someone might see at the grocery check-out  printed on the front page of the "STAR, or the Enquirer"next to Brad and Angelina's latest exploits or George Clooneys' desire to have or not have children with his lawyer wife.? I just think ,Thank God he finally got married, putting and end to his dating of sweet, half his age women. Right?  And at that very grocery check out I have queried many about the topic of our President and his behaviors.  Doesn't it feel like a fantasy land?  it lacks legitimacy to me. It doesn't feel real.
A friend of mine recently said to me, you have to consider the fact that he is a New Yorker."I say why? Why should a New Yorker behave differently? Because they are used to fighting for the very space they occupy?  Because they are often rude and way too opinionated thinking that their tiny city is all there is?  OK, I think one would have to say that many of the great and driven come from New York but isn't it merely because the biggest Ant has to climb to the top of the Ant Hill?
 No offense New Yorkers, but I have an axe to grind.  I lived in Florida and it was those from New York that  were the ones that were the worst behaved.  Yak , yak, yak the loudest about the dumbest self centered flotsam.  Sending back their food and wanting everyone to know it, honking their horns, screaming out windows, chewing with their mouths open and talking with them full.  At the beach; speedo's on men way over 30, sporting their little gold chains.  Emblazoned in my mind.. Women who are terribly over-tanned, out there all day without cover in 95+ blazing heat.  The beach empty except for them and their spray bottles.
One day I was waiting to turn into a condo estate, There were lines of oncoming traffic and I began to hear a blast of a horn which made me look up. I saw in the rear-view my neighbor, a New Yorker laying on the horn behind me.  I thought lady! there is oncoming traffic, I cant go!  and suppressed the inclination to flip her the middle finger.  She blasted past me after the gate in her caddy.  I slowly pulled into my slot to observe her rushing to get out of the car, cell phone crushed to her face, her hair obviously a wig, kind of crooked on her head, doors flying open and packages falling out. It was then I realized they deserve our pity not our disdain.

Now we have them in the White House.  I overheard a conversation that was recorded in President Trumps Land Rover as he tooled around his  golf course in Scotland. He was defaming a Scottish farmer he had purchase land  adjacent to for the golf course.   The conversation was extremely debasing and cruel. The President was obviously ignorant to the reasoning's why the farmers land was so messy! Could it be:  the landscape had changed due to the development of the golf course and everything altered!

A better man would have gone in and made changes by offering to clean up the mess he created by pushing all the soil up in heaps during construction and cleaning up the tree debris.   But no, that Scottish farmer which was obviously in shock to see his beautiful farm and surrounding areas laid bare was a scumbag, according to Donald Trump, (minus the Mr. President then), He also made comments about the wind generators out in the ocean which he felt were blocking his golf courses view.    My God man, Its a country!!! They are making Power!!!  However, that main point was obviously overlooked by our now Air Force #1 passenger and naturalized New Yorker.
A smarter man would have not created a war and caused the people of Scotland to snub him as famous personalities come to play golf in Scotland, wow!  Think of that, our worst behaved and most selfish out and about in a nation that fosters personalities like "William Wallace"!  Tongue in cheek.... Somebodies gonna get punched.  that makes for a story on the tube I wouldn't turn off.