ONCE A BULLY ALWAYS A BULLY

(Picture compliments of Google Images, 2017.)

Have you ever lost your temper?  Sure at some point in life everyone does.  How it is expressed is different. Yet getting mad happens.  I have been bullied on and off for years by various individuals.  When I was living in Los Angeles and attending Los Angeles Public Schools, I was bullied everyday by a girl that was 5 times my size and had fists to match.  I fortunately survived and again ran into this girl in high school.  She did not even recognize me.  I was very happy to act  like she did not exist.
However, that was a long time ago.  I won't say that I haven't met others that have taken pleasure in bullying me.  I met a man in Jr. College  who took great pleasure in rejecting me publicly in the halls on the way to a class.  I later saw him as a police officer and had to laugh as he had no hair and a middle aged paunch.  Life has its own revenge.  I have begun to think that occupation attracts those kinds of people, and am a staunch supporter of periodic psychological reviews to weed this type of individual out of  our nations police forces.  Especially now with all the killing going on.  I have watched "YouTube" Videos of live police chases where the police, on camera, shoot individuals with and without guns.  Don't you think that there should be an alternative? I have a shock stick that delivers millions of volts to anyone and anything at the other end of it.  However, My grandfather remembers a day when the police were trained to manage crisis scenes differently.  Thinking about that takes some time yet, understanding the dynamics of our very violent society where our children cut their teeth on violent video games, what do we expect? Young men and women sit around and play these games for hours having binging sessions that sometimes last for days where the men pee in a bottle rather than take a break and go to the bathroom.  Killers abound that we do not even hear their names anymore as they are caught convicted and sent away to join others like themselves in our overcrowded prisons. Many of are for-profit prisons.  How does that work?  Is it like the ambulance chasers? Where insurance agents have police scanners and rush to a fire or accident to sell the victims insurance?  "Oh, Here comes the owner of Eastgate Prison," as he/she stands outside the courthouse handing out brochures for the facility.

I did not come here to speak to Crime and punishment as I said, I believe that somewhere down the line these kinds of people get what they have coming to them."   I watched "Fargo" for 2 seasons.  Of course everyone loved the original iconic movie where the saying, "ya,sure you-betta", put Minnesota on the map.  I got  a certain satisfaction when in part 1 in the series the bully got his come uppings.

I have had a sense of calm since I had a burst of temper recently when I chewed out a older woman  at a weight loss organization I used to belong to, as she had come unglued at me and a new person I was trying to speak to.What I was doing was not her business. However, being her nasty, controlling self, she had to  tell me that what and how I was dong it was wrong.  Don't you hate those kinds of people? I will probably never forget her face as her turkey waddle  under her chin shook in anger poring out her poison on me and the person I was speaking to. I later gave this person a ride home profusely apologizing, she could not stop saying,:"did you see her face so evil! "How can I forget?  My reaction I am not sorry for, I blurted out, "you nasty Bitch!" She waved her hand at me and got up and left and her little minions went out behind her.  👹   Doing that felt so good I only wished others who have been bullied by her had the chance to feel that way.

I had a chance to apologize  but I have not and will not.  The woman has been bullying me and others for years. I only wish I  had not been the person to give her her come uppings.   I am sure that she will get what she has coming to her elsewhere too.  Then I examined her life, she is a lonely , crusty old lady.  She speaks her mind way too often and hurts people and drives them out of not only her life but the room at the time, I have seen people never come back and I have recently joined that group. No one likes her, but do you notice with those kinds of people, they think they are liked and will announce to everyone  that so and so likes me, I know so and so and they say this...   That's how I know as a Behavioral Health Professional that something is lacking in that persons life, how they tell you how smart their kids are, how they know so and so and how important they are, bla, bla, bla, then after they exude their comments  they turn and say the same things to another. You might  as well have been a wall.  This in my field is called dysfunctional.  So don't take it personally?


   The straw that broke the proverbial camels back was when an old friend of many years went on and on about Mormonism, "how her pastor said, that Mormons, they aren't Christians and bla, bla, bla," same old junk that X-Mormons say.  In all honesty, I have never been treated by Non-Mormon Christians as well as I have been treated  by the people of the LDS church. They are the true Christians practicing their faith in a dynamic and effective way.  I know this first hand. Having had a terrible experience in the main stream Christian Church, I  watched a Minster fall in adultery and another uprising where the congregation chased their pastor out for his honesty. I watched each member handle the microphone saying whatever they chose to this mans face. It was heart breaking. Driven to tears, I had not attended another church until the Mormons came to my door .  They showed me and my family loving generosity in an judge-mental way that made me yearn to be back in the  Christian Church. I could just say,"Goodbye Felisha," to that person yet,
how does that change me, make me a better person? How does that help her grow as an individual if everyone in her life lets her drive them away exempting her relatives?     After much thought I decided that it wasn't about me. True I don't need people in my life that make me feel bad about myself or ignore me as I have to sit and listen to their shallow, silly arguments.  Yet, why do I have to make hard fast decisions? As a Mental Health professional haven't I been trained to believe that people like these will change?  That they just need to be aware they are behaving in this way and given tools to overcome their alienating behaviors? Further, these persons are not paying clients and this is my life.  Maybe, I will not do anything, take my Mormon friends examples as an example.  WWJD?

On the other hand, I doubt as in "Fargo" someone will come along and dispatch the Bullies in our lives, however, I am sure that if those Bullies don't come to an understanding at some point, do self reflection, and stop blaming others for their terrible behavior, I am sure that life will dish them up what they deserve.   Maybe that is why the Bible tells us to pray for our enemies. Matthew 5:44