Thursday, October 26, 2017

AMERICAN ROAD ADVENTURER

Google Images 2017
Hello beautiful friends and family... and possibly those of you who have stumbled upon my unique and interesting Blog.  
       It is no secret to you that I follow many blogs and Podcasts.  I also enjoy Vlogs on YouTube.  Depending on what I am into I try to gather as much information as I can to supplement my interests.  I am really enjoying a Vlog called Long, Long Honeymoon on YouTube.  The Vlog features a couple named Shaun and Christie Michael who have an Airstream RV and they travel all over the country.  http://longlonghoneymoon.com &  YouTubehttps://www.youtube.com/watch? v=kzIET2FrnW4 and if you really enjoy the info (it’s awesome!) you can support them at: https://www.patreon.com/longlonghoneymoon

 I found this couple to be authentic and fun loving and Kristy doesn’t mind letting us see that she is also beautiful without her makeup.  (Inside Camping Joke), Shaun is able to cover the different aspects of the products they represent, and their travels, in a way that appeals to “we” analytical types, who need to know why?   “Loloho,” discusses a variety of topics from the best hats to sport, campgrounds for wildlife viewing, to equipment for your RV. I really appreciate how to do this and that (skills) and loved the "Top 5" Favorite Places to RV Camp in the USA.
I have learned how to “Swoop” (a RV parking maneuver), how to hook up RV to FHU and where I can get Blueberry Beer. Having hauled horses around for many years in a fully-loaded, 4-horse steel Tallboy, towing with an F150, 4x4, and earlier camping experiences with a StarCraft pop-up tent camper towing with a Chevy Astrovan, I do have some experience.  However, as of late I have developed a little more caution due to having matured and realized that there is much more involved than jumping in and “gettin er done.” Those of you who know me understand this aspect of my personality. 

Adding my mother to the quotient, who feels she has to giving her 2 cents to everything; driving an RV has changed its dynamics for me.
Also, she being reactionary there are often sounds, such as: sighing, moaning and that sucking in noise that one never gets used to, what’s that called? Alarm, Silent Screaming? Or Muffled agony?
Google Images, 2017

We are currently working on the walkie-talkie parking thing.  The dialogue follows this route:  Me head out window, “mom, mom, MOM! Push in the button on the side, then talk.” I say.  “Ok, I understand now,” she says.  The radio crackles in the cab of the RV, and then it goes silent.  Sticking my head out again, I say, “mom hold the button in while talking. “Ok “ I hear the radio crackle to life again and hear her mumble, “So bossy that kid.”
“Go really slow,” has taken on a new meaning for me (Loloho, expression). 
 I love my mom.  Before I moved in with her to help after my stepfather passed away. I was under the illusion I had great patience.  The key word there is “Illusion”

When I was doing the daily grind before I was forced into early retirement by a bad knee and a back injury I lived in another part of the country from my mom raising a family. Therefore, our time was limited to visits. She and my Stepdad would come to me in their Monaco Dynasty towing a Ford explorer.  Before hand negotiating a parking spot for them to park with my  with a neighbor.
On one occasion I was standing out in front, waiting for them on the cell phone, I saw them coming up the street. Mom said, “I see you”.  Expecting them to slow down and stop at least, they zipped right on by.
Now I kid you not, when that 45’ of RV towing the Explorer went by me he was doing about 35 and not slowing down, the wind action not only sucked me in but made my clothing and hair fly like I was in a tornado! I had to feel myself afterwards to see if I was still alive.  

Google Images 2017

The RV came to an abrupt halt at the corner and I heard my mom yelling at my stepdad, “you passed her!” This incident became a humorous story in our family that It was embellished differently at each telling. 


RV’S, probably enhance our lives beyond our own understanding.  Everyone camps now. Driving around town I can count at least 10 RVs at any given time of the year.  Every other house has an RV parked in the yard.  My latest travel aspiration is to go to Arizona.

The State we know as Arizona, comes from the Aztec word "Arizuma," this means Silver bearing. Therefore, Arizona is not only worth its weight in Silver (one of most precious metals in the world, second only to Gold). Arizona is known as the Grand Canyon State and is one of the most popular destinations for RVer’s on the West Coast. 
Why do I single out Arizona?  Having driven through many times on my way elsewhere, this will be my next vacation destination, so I am studying up.  A Video Coffee Table Book Arizona - State of Wonder was a good start; this 1 ½ hr. video depicts the state with beautiful images taken in some of the most unique parks in Arizona.  Including the Grand Canyon. Put out by Digital Video Destinations in 2009 it can be seen or purchased at Amazon.com.  https://www.amazon.com/dp/B002QHUTRO,

I hear the sunrises and sunsets are legendary, and the Saguaro is alive and well living in a National Park, a forest of Cacti! (Momentary silence please while we absorb that concept).  AND, the Arizona Cardinals practice football, not politics.  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tr6eA4wO8k 

Be Happy and keep coming back to Homeontheweekends.com for updates. 



https://www.50states.com/facts/arizona.htm Cited: 10/24/2017. (2017)



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Thursday, October 19, 2017

SOWING AND REAPING



Google Images 2017
It seems like Pedophiles and sex abusers are everywhere.  Deviant thinking and filth have become the norm.  It dominates the airwaves and we have to hear about people that get caught up in those lifestyles every day.  Crimes against women and children and the elderly have increased, and animal abuse its a war being fought all over the globe.

Honestly, I appreciate the people in Hollywood finally getting what they deserve.  We are seeing a Biblical ideology called reaping and sowing in action. As in *Luke 8:17, For there is nothing hidden that will not be disclosed, and nothing concealed that will not be known, or illuminated.   Its kind of refreshing to see the accused squirm as one and then another of the compromised emboldened to publicly tell their tales of being groomed and then exploited and abused in their attempt to become an actor or actress. 

The biggest consequence of the influence of Hollywood is the moral degradation of our society played out on the screen in the name of freedom of speech and treated as if it were the normal life.   I believe Hollywood has contributed if not heralded the demise of the moral structure of this country.  That said, I believe we are seeing just the tip of the iceberg.  For instance, Great Britain who recently revealed a whole den of pedophiles in politics,  and their own entertainment industry. It began when they found out an already dead entertainer, a radio personality named; Jimmy Savile, had been abusing children for 60 years!  Sex rings and human trafficking was uncovered throughout the United Kingdom. (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jimmy_Savile)

Even now in our own country  "Pizza Gate", http://thehill.com/homenews/media/330510-writer-who-pushed-pizzagate-conspiracy-theory-says-he-has-white-house-press I do not doubt its truth in any way.   With the suspected abuses reaching to modern-day candidates and political figures.

I have decided to write about this because its been a growing problem in this country the USA as well, many people are finding the strength to accuse their abusers and I wanted to mention my point of view on the whole thing.

It's nothing unusual.  It is called sin.  In fact its a sin against one's own body.  By including a child in the act one is performing a terrible sin against God and yourself and the child.   This kind of a sin is expressly abhorrent because it has a victim that is affected all of their lives.  Women and men who have been sexually abused have difficulty with love.   They often do not find healthy relationships all of their lives.  Being in the mental health profession myself I have found a pattern amongst most of those that I have counseled.  The abused child doesn't relate to sex in a normal healthy way.  Often they are unable to express their own needs in a healthy manner towards others.  I was trained to believe that abusers often become abusers themselves although,  I do not find that true. I find that those abused try harder to find sexual normalcy than those that become predators after they themselves have been prey.
I have also been able to say that when people come out and debate the age of consent and what is true innocence are walking in a realm of theorizing and validating wrongful acts.

 They do not understand that a child is not sexual.  The age of consent is when a child is grown and sexually mature, chooses a mate and becomes free to express their feelings in a monogamous relationship.  Defending illicit sexual acts by theorizing the validity of age and maturity is wrong.


Having been a foster parent for a few years one sees a lot. What adults do to children.   It's like having a puppy and one teaches the puppy how to adapt to the family lifestyle.  Its taught to live indoors, potty outside, sit and speak, walk on a leash,  and where to sleep.  Children would come to my home sometimes in the middle of the night having just been removed from their parents, They're always hostile unless they were the whistleblower, and even then they are sad because the consequence of their actions is being realized.  Most are not normal children that smile or play or even have manners. They were someones blank slate and that person abused and often neglected them. I gave up foster parenting after my own son was supposedly abused, by a foster child I had in my home. The agency I was working for took in a child that had not been fully investigated and I did not get his file, it was a temporary situation and he was supposed to be gone after a few hours.
A few hours turned into a few days and then a few weeks.  All the while, I had a young boy, 8 years old in my home that had abused and beaten his little sister. I knew that much.   The agency divulged his story in a counseling session where he claimed to have touched my little son.  It was a lie of course.   I  did not allow my son to be alone with any of the children I had in my home.

Then the agency required my son have to counsel for this event.  I considered this ridiculousness. I was shocked and embarrassed to have been working for such fools and I gave up the license.   I later requested my file under the freedom of information act and it arrived covered with black marker strikeouts.
I was able to make out a few accusations from foster children that I did not even have in my home.  Later in the documents, the accusations were stated to be unfounded.   Yet, I was never told of any of this.   There was never an incident inquiry, no one called me and yet they put those lies in my file.
They really do not care about the children.  They are for the most part intent on protecting themselves.  Every case manager I associated with had bad attitudes and could not follow through with their duties. Where I live,  I saw in the paper that a manager of the entire child protective services was put into jail for abusing his wife.  It was hushed up and buried. Later I heard his name again and he had not even been demoted. 

Why not? Just the stigma of such a thing should have caused his firing.  I was told when I inquired that it is very difficult to fire a state employee.   I have deemed that agency a branch of evil and I will not work with them anymore.  I warn other foster parents, now that I am a professional counselor, not to have anything to do with the child protective services. Sure, it's sad, yet until someone who has the authority to take apart those agencies and root out their bad practices, the foster care systems should become as archaic as the mental health institutions of old.
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     Back to Hollywood, I don't believe that Michael Jackson abused children.  He loved children.  I believe that everything they found at his Never Land Ranch was planted.
Was Micheal Jackson molested and abused in the music industry? You can bet he was.  It is a culture.

Already many of the long-dead actors and actresses have had their accusers come out with stories of situations where another actor, director, or producer, took advantage of them as child actors and actresses.  Not all of them had the guts Jody Foster had to punch someone who touched her inappropriately in the nose.
However, many of that generation of actors and actresses abusers are still alive and that actor or actress is still making their living from acting...  Yet I ask, whom best but they?

It's a shame that child actors who are now dead did not have a chance to tell their sordid tales.  I often think as I watch child actors that grew up in Hollywood, their parents shoved aside as they are taught by tutors and working outside the child labor laws for hours and hours.  Up before dawn and allowed to sleep only after it is a wrap.  The churning pace of the treadmill of Hollywood, so that we can be entertained.  Studios rolling in the cash through exploitation without bounds.  The carnage evident throughout the cemeteries in Los Angeles.  Suicides are prolific, sordid tales of alcohol and drug abuse. It is rare an actor is allowed to be truly successful and have a long and illustrious career.  Now we have to ask: who did they step on to be there?  Its always written off as depression.  Often the question is left hanging in the air.  Yes, say it," why would someone so successful and beautiful kill themselves, it must be a disease." No, its a culture of abuse, and exploitation. They are used up and then thrown away.

Marilyn Monroe is an example of this.  Weak and vulnerable, we women know the type some of us are the type.  Brought up to believe that we must have a man in our lives to validate our worth. Those times have passed.  Equality is almost the norm, sure there are male-dominated occupations, and sexual harassment on the job is prolific.    Life can be fully realized without the validation or love of the opposite sex.


Recently I was able to voice my "# Me Too" to my friends and family as this shout out goes viral.

I was sexually harassed at work.  This especially poignant as I was a single mom trying to support 3 children after a divorce.  A young mom working in a mostly male field, I had a trade.  I was not an educated professional at the time yet, that doesn't lessen the situations.
The harassment came from older men.  Usually, over 40 who were married and had different ideas about women in the workplace.  Most of the time it was insulting but harmless, I had to develop a thick skin.  Then one day after a harrowing week of multiple comments where the men would walk by and say to me,"quit." at the end of that day I found a Kleenex soaked with sperm in my personal space.    I went right to the supervisor which now I regret, he was also older and did as expected, covered for them.  I felt like I was in a catch 22.  As it was my word against theirs.  I felt I had to toughen up, especially after a female co-worker reacted by saying "whats wrong with a little chubby?" I sat shocked at her reaction.  "This is my workplace.  I am a professional and what the hell does something like that mean anyway?' it's disgusting."  I replied.   She said, it means someone likes you," and she laughed.
I was dumbfounded.  I fought being ashamed and concluded it was not my fault I was not the one that was strange.  I have raised that a man respected a woman.  I was used to Godley men who cherished their wives and here I was being exposed to basically animals.    It's a strange feeling, to be treated that way. One doesn't have a frame of reference to react.  At least I didn't. 

I began to obsess a bit about it, watching people come and go, suspecting them.  I had to develop a separatist mentality, I stopped socializing with any of my co-workers. especially the men I did not engage in any conversation of any kind unless it pertained to the job.  I did my job despite them in an exemplary manner, clocked out and went home.  I prayed each day in my car before I went to work and made sure that everything I did carried a clear message to them. "Stay away from me." I did that job for 7 years before

Now that I am older I am wiser and would have reacted differently.What happened to me was a crime. What I should have done was go above the authority of my supervisor (who was not receptive to my reports of harassment,) and then onto making a report to the police. 
I now know its workplace harassment.  I was a victim of not only workplace harassment but direct sexual harassment. 
Hollywood has many Harvey Weinstein's, https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/morning-mix/wp/2017/10/16/me-too-alyssa-milano-urged-assault-victims-to-tweet-in-solidarity-the-response-was-massive/?utm_term=.18546aa7ef58  

Hollywoods Harvey doesn't know how to relate to women in a respectful manner, and it goes deeper than that, Harvey has done the big NO NO, he has utilized his position to exploit women for sex.  However, he finally got caught.  A woman that had the dignity, and self-respect, a woman who knew right from wrong had the courage to say,  "Hey that's wrong!"


This is not a new situation,  how many women have found themselves in that position or mine?  Wake up!  Make others accountable for their acts, have the courage to do what I should have.   Let us all shine a light on that darkness, don't keep their secrets, don't tell lies, just tell the truth until someone listens. 

# ME TOO #WHO TERRORIZED YOU? #WHO ABUSED YOU

Keep the dialogue going, Let's initiate the reaping. 

Friday, October 13, 2017

LISTEN







I Am a Podcast Junkie, listening to Podcast for several years now.  Podcasts have become a source of information I cannot find elsewhere. Many are public radio  from other states covering topics from the paranormal to how things operate, successful business practises, cooking and gardening as well as relationship issues.  

Recently one of my Favorites,"The Confessionals," had witnesses on the show who had been in Las Vegas during the recent shootings and have given testimony of events that are far different from what the mainstream media is reporting. Both of the guests showcased during the cast had actually been there at the time and had first hand experiences to relate.   I found these eye-witness reports believable and poignant.  Have a listen.
The Confessionals, Ep #38 https://www.theconfessionalspodcast.com/theconfessionals/

If you do not have a Podcaster Application, I have listed below a couple websites that review the best out here for your phones.  


I have my favorites and I wanted to share them with you:  
"This American Life@  https://www.thisamericanlife.org
Sasquatch Chronicles,Dog Man Encounters Radio, Bigfoot Eyewitness Radio,Criminal, How I built This,99% Invisible,The Mortified Podcast,The Memory Palace, Unexplained, and Lore." 
A Kudos to Lore as they have been picked up by Amazon Prime and is premiering as a TV series. 

There is an amazing variety of casts(terminology). 

   A cast can be accessed by searching in your podcast application for shows you are interested in by subject or name.  

That also goes for those of you who have other than an iPhone. 

Radio is alive and well through Podcasting. 

One can support your favorite show by becoming a premium subscriber, and for a few dollars a month can  get casts that are in-between the regularly scheduled shows. These extras are only available to premium subscribers, and cover special subjects and introduce special guests  introduce special guests.  

Keep in mind that most of the time, unless you are listening to say;"This American Life,"(Which is funded by "Chicago Public Media") the casts are not fully funded.Therefore,these folks being everyday people, appreciate your support. 

If you still don't know what a Podcast is and if you have an iPhone its the "i" symbol with the halos around it.


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This avid listener is hoping everyone will download a Pod casting Application,find something that interests you and join the conversation.  

Thursday, October 5, 2017

BROTHERS AND SISTERS

(Google Images, 2017)

Most of us have a sibling.  Worldwide statistics tell us that the average American woman is having a total of 1.87 children.  (https://www.cia.gov/library/publications/the-world-factbook/fields/2127.html), Yikes! how is that happening?  I suppose it is, if I remember correctly from statistics class: one woman may have 3 children, another 4 and the third only 1 and that averages out to 1.87 children based on the population of United States and women of child bearing age.  
Well my mom had 2 children, I have a little brother.
We are adults now and he has made some choices in his life that have shocked us all.  As a mother myself, I understand the process of raising a child and hoping and praying they will make correct choices, and sorrowing each decision that you know will lead to disaster.  That's what being a parent is all about.  It's a huge ordeal.  I always laugh when people offhandedly comment, " They had children for themselves."

Of course there is great joy with being parenting.  However, there is also great pain.  

I know I am a better person because I had children and I gained great character due to the situations and scenarios that parenting puts one in. Being a responsible person I stepped up to parenting with the idea that no one else would love my children as I do, therefore I am the best candidate to make sure they are launched as well rounded successful adults. 

Over the years I have had the opportunity to examine my own relationships in life and reflect upon the  mistakes I have made, some with my brother.   I should have been a better sister to him.  I know my parents had a lot to do with the way my brother and I got along.  They worked, left us alone, me being older I was often the babysitter, he was hyperactive and constantly busy, and routinely did not obey me.  
I was the older one, the one expected to set and example and thus reaped the blame when things went wrong.  Sometimes he was not to blame and other times he was.  However, I feel guilty at how the wrath of mom was exacted out on him instead of me who was at times truly the guilty party.  I told myself that he did get away with things making it easier to hide behind the door while he got spanked for something I instigated. 

As a family at Christmas time we traditionally watch "A Christmas Story "The plot revolves around Peter Billingsley acting out his Christmas wish of getting a BB gun.  http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0085334/fullcredits

During the part where Ralphie says the F word then blames his buddy Schwartz, the guilt sets in. Further,  Ralph's' mother (played by Melinda Dillion), calls Mrs. Schwartz on the phone and one can hear poor Schwatzie getting an unexpected beating for influencing Ralph's speech.   https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4KjxFDGFKhk,

As we age I don't feel so much guilt. I have found our childhoods similar to many that were raised in our generation. I also understand it was our parents responsibility to govern the situations they put us into considering our ages, personalities and individual temperaments. As I mentioned, It was often my responsibility to babysit, when I simply wasn't mature enough to do so.  My brother performed behaviors such as disappearing at night!, confrontations with neighbor boys, and fighting with the girls next store that often fueled our clashes.  On one occasion our tit for that got so out of hand that he punched his hand through a plate glass window, laying out the skin to the bone on his knuckle. The neighbors took him to the hospital.  Of course I was punished. 
  

In my sophomore year of high school, we moved from California to the NW, renting while the folks decided where they wanted to buy.  Eventually buying a home  out of the school district I had already begun  to attend in.   I was faced with changing schools, again.  Having already made friends, (that in itself being a feat being the kid that was dragged across the map due to the circumstances surrounding our parents occupations), I chose to ride my bike to the bus stop so I could continue where I was.  

On one of many occasions it was raining. It was actually pouring rain. My routine was change at school before class.   I would arrive to the bus stop soaked to the skin and dry out on the ride to school. It was draining, not to mention ruined my early romance possibilities rocking that stringy wet hair. When I complained, My mother always chimed a tune that went like this "you wanted to ride your bike to that school! Its your choice." (as if she was faultless) On that occasion dreading the dark and rainy ride, arriving at school soaked again, I begged my mom to get up and take me.  I watched the time until none was to spare, her final word was putting her pillow over her head.  As I was riding up the long hill that our home was below, I saw my brother in the distance delivering his papers, (he had a paper route at 10! )  On that part of the hill I had to push my bike as it was too steep to ride it.  The rain was coming down in sheets and I was already wet, my jeans becoming dead weight.  
I then heard the sound of a car and began to move over to the side farther, looking I saw my mothers car struggling up the hill its diesel engine whining.   I thought,"what a great mom, she really does love me." (or something like that). When the car arrived at me it stopped and I moved towards it expecting to put my bike in the trunk, however, she got out and beat the living daylights out of me, got back in , turned the car around and went back down the hill." 
That's all I remember, the rest of the story was witnessed by my brother, who for the first time hinted at a bit of compassion for me. He picks it up,"Yeah I remember mom coming up the hill, I saw her get out and wail on you, you were on the ground and your bike was all crashed to the side,(he chuckles)." "You were kind of laying on it you didn't get up  Mom turned the car around and went back down the hill.  I thought, what did she do this time? You finally got back up and kept going, when you passed me you didn't say anything at all, I don't think you even saw me." I probably didn't. 

He hinted at his opinion, that I was a difficult child, I saw a chance to remind him of his escapades.  It levels the playing field, especially when our mom is present for those conversations.  She always says the same things, "I don't remember that" and as she gets older,"I am sorry for that." 

Being a parent who rarely spanked, I understand her emotions. Using spanking as discipline hurts the parent also.  It just doesn't seem right to raise a hand to a innocent child no matter what they have done.  However, I did it, on occasion when nothing else worked.  It's the spanking in anger to allow a child to make you angry, its wrong.  I fought that when I was a parent.  Learning to distinguish between disciplining in anger or being calm and loving, yet firm, by providing guidance through discipline. Being a student of child rearing I had a bevy of techniques. Being a good parent interested me to the extent I became employed professionally as a foster parent.   Often these children took behavior management medications and were one step away from an institution.  I learned  about attachment disorders and attention deficit and multiple personality disorders and depression and a myriad of problems that abused and neglected children suffer with.   I began to see myself in some of these kids, gaining a whole new respect for my own parents. They never gave up on us, or sent us away.   Sure my issues were because of their lack of child rearing skills, I don't think my mom had a class or even read a book, until she joined me at a foster parenting training course. 
She was also that generation: the ones that had a bar in the basement, cocktails after work in front of the fireplace, wine at dinner, and nightcaps.  
On weekends we went to the Yacht Club.  The folks, they danced and drank.  I smoked pot, in a dress, on boats, with other forgotten teens.  It was their way, their lives were most important, we kids were merely ornaments. A kind of a tribute to their fertility or a tradition they adhered to.  

Our parents were slightly younger than the generation that said,"Children were to be seen and not heard." That was their parenting example. Our step-dad was raised in the latter part of the depression, so there was a lot of frugality that hung on. Mom was quite a bit younger than he.  

Psychologically I believe our step-dad was done with raising kids when he met and our married mom.  He had already raised 2 twin daughters and was just not much of father to us.  His only desire was our mother, that was a fact, that he often made very clear.  

He loved his twins dearly but all that we got was the back of his hand.  

As with most step-dads he wasn't all bad, he bought me a guitar, it was a "classic". Very unlike the guitars most of my friends played, "it could be electric too!" he said.  The electric bar was crudely carved out and misshapen making this already monolithic piece of wood an embarrassment to an already out of sorts 13 year old.  When I tried to play it dwarfed me, all one could see was a head peeking above, and two little arms straining at the strings.  He'd get a few cocktails in him and call for me to play, my mom rescuing me by drowning me out with a massive classical concerto to my John Denver impression.  On the last strains of "Rocky Mountain High"  came  the great intro of "Rachmaninoff Piano Concerto No.2 in C Minor Opus 18," and I would slip away unscathed.
  
My brother had his problems too. When it wasn't me who was home and the center of the tempest it was he.  I arrived home one evening to an already ongoing event; our Step-dad was chasing our mother with a belt cornering her in the bedroom and my brother was holding him off with a golf club. The marriage disintegrated after that.  Another step-dad came along yet, I was already gone to college and married.  Mom moved again leaving the tumult of the past behind.  
Happily I have my own family now and we have our own stuff to reminisces about.  Brother and sisters smile and hug.  

GLAD TO SEE AND HEAR