THOUGH THERE BE GIANTS IN THE LAND

"Greater Love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for a friend." John 15:13

For reasons not of my own doing I became involved in something I could not understand yet it demanded of me my ultimate character.  It was something I could not run to my mom for help with, I could not ask advice of anyone in an intelligent manner, without revealing too much...I was on my own.  

 I saw things that caused me to live in a world where I had to straddle the proverbial ditch.   Yet, I did it because it was necessary as the consequences were too great to only concern myself with me. 

  An old movie with Robert Redford and Woody Harrelson comes to mind: "Indecent Proposal," In this movie a young couple had a choice to make and it concerned something that fully engaged their character and beliefs with the reward of money.  We all know who saw that movie what happened as what was betrayed in-the film was something priceless and could not be replaced by cold hard cash.  

Many films are made that focus on these kinds of dilemmas.  The favorites seem to be the end of the world and the sacrifices of someone whose outside life isn't really all that profound but in the end they do something that is felt around the world, they save the world.  

Most of us  do not think of ourselves as being in a situation like that and over our modern lives where every need can be met we do not have the chance to have that part of us challenged.  

War has always been place of challenge where peoples fortitudes are tested.  Those who participate find out if they possess courage, stamina, endurance, to preform the acts most of us will never be called upon to do.   Relationships are forged that last a lifetime as they are tried on the battlefield.  No one really knows what happens there, only they that are involved understand. The lessons are profound and a warrior is left without anything to compare it to in normal life therefore, the  events are internal and incommunicable.   We can only extend our gratitude as recipients with clay feet.  

How often I hear the term "Hero" thrown around without any understanding of what someone really did sacrifice.   Yet, one can witness it on the face of the individual, a person can sense if that individual truly is a hero.   I often stop and think, what did they sacrifice? What did they do that cost them something? 

I remember Jesus Christ the author of the word hero, he laid down his life so that all of mankind could have eternal life and not face the wrath of an angry God.  

"Jesus is the author and finished of my faith," (Hebrews: 12:2,King James)

"Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God." 

  I have suffered the strain of allowing myself to be shamed, to not have a voice, and like the verse mentions, I hate it, I despise enduring it and those that bring it upon me.  Sometimes I don't care and its easy to be the loner as my reward is in heaven.  What I endure here on this blue marble rotating  in a void of black is nothing in the end .  Sometimes I go to bed at night and feel sorry for myself, would things have been better had I behaved differently? Given in, said yes to the world of the indecent proposals, character compromising circumstances, chickened out, ran in the face of danger, allowed others to take the consequences.   All the times I said, "the buck stops here."  I know my life would have been different but it would not have mattered as in the movie I would have sacrificed that which was most important and would have had to live with the knowledge of that.  Life is temporal, eternity is with my Heavenly Father which I know beyond a shadow of a doubt loves and honors me for my sacrifices.  "For what shall it profit a man, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul?"(Mark 8:36). 

Have you ever had a situation in your own life that challenged your very being, questioned your moral fiber, that asked something of you that was out of the question?  Have you taken a stand in your life and been ridiculed, or shamed?  What have you sacrificed?  These questions open a plethora of quandaries as for many our lives are lived out as Thoreau stated," The Mass of men lead their lives of quiet desperation, and go to the grave-with their song still in them." (Walden, by Henry David Thoreau)

(Image 2017 google images)

HUNGER

(GOOGLE IMAGES 2017)

Mom and I have been traveling around. Before the weather here sets in, day after day of rain. Don’t get me wrong; I think the rain is what sets this place apart from other parts of the country.  It rains incessantly and the ground merely soaks it up.  For a while, about 2 hours after the rain stops, it sits like a lake in the drive until the sand opens up and sucks it down like everything else.   I am not complaining, as it is beautiful here, trees and birds and green undergrowth. 

 We also live on the water.  I have grown up in homes with view windows either looking to the water or a pastoral of some sort.  A few times I have lived in homes where I had to look at 4 walls;only walls, or the street  It makes someone like me feel closed in. 

When I was first married my husband and I rented a little house on a hill that had one large window.  It did look at the water from way back yet had an expansiveness as it was on a hilltop.  Yet the rest of the windows were small and the house was so old the wires in the dug out dirt garage had fabric covers on them.   It was a dangerous place. 

I awoke one day to a fire flaming above my head. The wall plug was old fashioned and would not handle the 220 draw of a waterbed heater.  I was screaming as I recall, yet still beating the flame out with my pillow. After that we moved. We bought a little single wide down the hill on its own land.  I could not see myself in a park.  It was even hard in those days to buy a manufactured home. (Stigma)

 However, we wanted our own place, like most newly weds do.  It wasn’t long after that my husband lost his job,and we were picking up aluminum cans to buy food and make our house payment. 

My story continues, my mom and I went to Oregon this time and while traveling we stopped before having lunch at a rest stop. She got out of the car in ahead of me and we walked down the path to the ladies room. 

Then we saw a young man sitting beside the walk with a sign that read, “Hungry and Homeless,” written in a black crayon. Mom asked  him questions about why he felt he was there and discussed his homelessness and I went on around her to the ladies room, as I had to go NOW!! (Dam coffee…)

I relieved myself and went back to the car on my way past I volunteered my lunch to that same young man and he said yes he would have it.  I walked on back to the car for it.   Mom passed me as I was giving him his lunch.  We walked together to the car and went on our way to adventure.  

By the way, we ended up being caught in traffic the likes of which I'd never seen in a very long time. Some adventure:  
  We sat and sat in the car for hours until we almost ran out of gas.  It was madness.

 Finally we found a fueling station in the middle of the tattoo and purple hair town we had to pay 3.50 a gallon for regular!!

This baby faced gas pumper, half shaven tattooed boy declared, “we are the most expensive place in town.”   

Again, trying not to run over a papa smurf with blue hair, I gun the gas to resume a place in line.

Mom turns to me and said, "That was nice of you to give that young man your lunch.I prayed the sinners prayer with him and he accepted Christ into his heart.” “What! How could you have done that? When did you do that? I was just in the bathroom for a minute,”I said. 

She smiled. 


At that moment my respect for my mother soared to new heights.  All I had done was give my lunch to a hungry soul, whereas my mother gave him the bread of life.