Why You Can't be Friends With Your Therapist – Ever! | Therapy Unplugged

Why You Can't be Friends With Your Therapist – Ever! | Therapy Unplugged

Clay Footed Saviors

(Caduceus Used  Under Public Domain Laws 2015)

Yesterday I was given dog food from the food bank and took it to my neighbors who have a big dog, I do this routinely and they seem grateful for it.  I do not see them often as I am busy and they are busy and life goes on as we all know.

One of the ladies who lives there answers the door. She looks awful, She has totally changed from the last time I saw her.  She has lost a lot of weight and taken on a frail look. Apparently she must walk with a walker as she has begun to fall a lot. I saw her eye was blackened in the last fall causing me to gasp at her appearance. I reached out and hugged and kissed her on the cheek. 

I felt a surge of anger over the whole thing. The complacency  and ignorance that has obviously culminated in bringing this young woman to deaths door.   "its my blood pressure," she said to me, wobbling back and forth as her partner came to steady her for a moment.  I said have you  been to a Nature Path or an Osteopath yet?   Yes we are seeing an Osteopath.  "What?" I said, "how could that be? and your still sick?"

It hit me as I stood there on the stoop that once again the medical society has let us down.  I say us because I have to witness this same occurrence over and over again noticing some cultural trend.   The situations' are the same only the name's have changed.

My stepfather struggled with his medications until he came close to death because of the medications he was taking.  Finally he went to alternative medicines and not only thrived but gained many more years with a bad heart. His life became a circus of medical politics, bad doctors, wrong medications and lawsuits.   A simple little spice named Cayenne saved his life. Not a medication prescribed by a doctor. The medications were killing him.

 

I have always had the good fortune of having had great medical professionals in my life.  Men and women who have allowed me to question them, do my own research and even have stood by while I tried my own things. 

I asked one of my Doctors who earned my trust, on one occasion, do you ever get there?, Meaning: arrive at being a professional?" or is it always new?' He answered me by saying, "that's why its called a practice."  'We practice until it becomes a profession."

Ok so, here is my dad and my neighbor and nameless others suffering while these people practice on them. Lest I also mention that an individual can become a doctor by merely passing and often its below the lowest class scores.  Therefore, you can be seeing a doctor, that did not get A's or B's on his/her tests, failed labs, scored low on their boards and still get the Caduceus stamped degree to hang on their wall in their office. But you would never know that. 

Yet in we go and expect that person to put together a cure for what ails us concerning a complicated, perfect machine created by an infinite being.

 I sometimes have flashbacks of when I was a child and had kidney issues.  As a child will, I grew tired of being poked and prodded and became inconsolable  and uncontrollable climbing the walls to get away from the next needle.  My personal psyche is a muddle of emotions when I come to the doctor or the dentist. 

Yet,These days, I sit calmly, I turn away when they take my blood and fend off the urge to vomit.   Do you think if I asked they would reveal to me how they did on their pathology pop quiz?  

I am caused to think of  when I was in Veterinary College when we learned about anesthesia.  "Anesthesia is not a true science," Dr. Campbell said.  "Its a plane, too little and the patient is not anesthetized, too much and they are dead."

 I'll never forgot that as I went under the knife a few times in my life.  I'd joke with the anesthesiologist, "Now remember, "de plane! de plane!" (for those of  my gentle readers, Fantasy Island the little man calling out as the guests were delivered to the Island)

On one occasion I awoke to  some pretty intense toe pinching and a nurse almost yelling in my ear.  Well that's what happens when you get caught in a money making deal where the doc makes more with a spinal and your own doc comes in and says,? "A spinal?" As the needle is hanging out of my back. "No! General." making a sleeping posture with his hands. After the fact....

For your consideration , is not the whole of Medicine which is not a true science. and why should it be?  We as human beings are also not pure science but multifaceted physical and spiritual beings created by unseen hands for individual purposes in the creators plan ?  Coupled with the drug company agenda which we know are soulless, preying on the weak and sick in essence making them into lab rats?

I'll keep you posted on the neighbor.   

IS IT REALLY PARENTAL CONCERN?

Having children is a great responsibility.  It is an hourly interaction that goes on for most parents until the child becomes a young person and is launched into their own situations.  Yet, often parents don't know when to let go.  This is not an intentional act and it takes maturity to see where a parents influence is not healthy for a young person.

     Sometimes the parents own failures become the same for their child through their influence.    

In Genesis 2:24 of the Holy Bible God tells us  "Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh", (King James). This means; that when a man and woman marry they are uniquely joined together by God in a ordained relationship as one flesh.  They become one in Gods eyes. 
     What does this really mean and how does a couple declare their independence from their parents without hurting them? 
It means that everything is shared and considered as a couple, brought to God together, and although a man may be responsible for the financial in the relationship or maybe the woman has that role, the other takes up the responsibility for the home and family life design.  We often view this today in this century as teamwork.

Your Parents:concerned parents are a gift that keeps on giving.Its impossible to expect them to understand for a while how to reign themselves in and allow their child to make their own way.    Unless of course you were thrown out at 18, jobless,uneducated and unmarried you have to learn how to nicely teach your parents the difference between loving concern and control.   
My mother never let go of me.  She always said what she felt and gave her opinions about our jobs, our children,our lifestyle and our religion.  It was difficult to say no to her when saying yes meant the first down payment for our home, showering our children with expensive gifts and becoming the go to for any short comings we had.   However, it wasn't free money.
      In our family the idea was we shared our work and our successes. My parents being entrepreneurs. I worked in their businesses running them long after they had lost interest and moved on.  The upside being, I now have a tremendous business sense and am just completing my credentials to run another of my moms abandoned businesses. My choice, my way.  
However, what has prompted this entry is my own daughters  experience with her in-laws lack of observance of boundaries. 

In 2005 my daughters in-laws move from their home in Florida to New Hampshire the step-dad puts in a good word for my daughters husband and he is offered a job with the same company the dad is with.  They pick up and move 3,600 miles away from me taking my grandchild away abruptly.  
     Sure I was angry but over time I saw the necessity of them moving towards a better life, that I could still be a good grandmother on the phone, Skype and through visits.   
It wasn't long before  my son in law moved forward into a dream position with the city. The job is something that isn't around much anymore, a pension at early retirement, Full benefits for he and his family, Paid perks,trainings and great potential for advancement and variety.  A dream job right? Well it isn't like he didn't work hard to get there. Now because of his parents inability to observe their boundaries he is willing to throw it all away for a software sales position that is only a stepping stone job.

 I tried to ignore the fact of the influence the step-dad had on the first situation, I saw it more as a favor because they weren't doing anything permanent  where they were living.  
     Being introspective I saw that it was a time to develop my own boundaries anyway.  Yet his parents cannot seem to do this same thing. For some reason the father was not able to make it in New Hampshire and recently moved his whole family again (including adult children), across the country to Idaho.
     Of late,The phone calls have ensued encouraging my daughters husband to pull up stakes again and join them.
      The man is either an imbecile or is controlling, jealous of his step son or all of the above.   
     The results are devastating already, where they were making this new home their own they have allowed it to fall into disrepair, projects and decorating abruptly halted. My daughter has begun to sell everything again in preparation for a cross country move.  The garden is hardly planted(why bother?), They sit and watch TV most of the day or play on their cell phones as if waiting for life to happen to them, they have given up. Even my granddaughter refused to sign up for summer camp as she is expecting to move. 
     I have to weigh in on this, I am going to blame the lack of integrity on the part of his parents  In essence my daughter and her family have been robbed.   Yet , I have held my tongue.If I were to address the issue with her I would be as guilty as they are by using my influence too.   Except I did respond when asked by my daughter," why do you not like  his parents".  (I did not know it was that obvious.) I blurted out that I thought they were selfish and shallow people.  But mom, "they are wonderful people." I said nothing as my mind knows better. Wonderful people do not wreck their children and grandchildren s lives for their own selfish reasoning's. 

All I said to my daughter was not to underestimate a parents influence on a child.  I related to her how my own mother could not stay out of my life and that I was unable to declare my own independence. That it is the parents responsibility to learn boundaries.  
     I know God has his purposes for them whether they follow his parents again or stand firm as one flesh counting their blessings.

On another note: Lightning. Stay tuned...